I am in mourning. Actual, physical mourning. Ever since I watched Christmas get packed back into its masking taped up box, I have wanted to wear black.
I hate January. January reminds me I have a WHOLE YEAR before I can eat pate, turkey and mince pies again. Or more to the point EAT in general.
My snowman onesie isn’t hilarious anymore, there appears to be a turkey carcass hanging out of the wheelie bin and, most depressingly of all, work want me to do work again.
There is no solace in TV. The soaps are as bleak as ever (RIP Pat. End of an earring and all that) and are just punctuated by endless furniture adverts. Hello? It’s just been CHRISTMAS. WHO can afford a new dining table?! Then there’s the diet adverts. Weightwatcher have their own song. Seriously. Maniacs who used to be overweight are now free to sing in public on their local high street after Weightwatchers taught them the meaning of life all over again. At least they are real people who once did have ‘do Weightwatchers’ at number one on their New Year’s Resolution list.
Not like the smuggest woman in the World.
The Special K woman. For years, Special K adverts have told us that eating their magical breakfast flakes (and sod all else) will give us the body we all want to flaunt in a (quite frankly disgusting), high legged, low necked red swimming costume.
I’m not going to say I haven’t done the diet before, I totally have. I’ve always fancied turning myself into a human K whilst taking a pool side shower, but this year’s campaign has really got my back up. Smug SKW slinks out of nowhere toying with her soggy flakes like she isn’t STARVING and says in her velvety voice ‘Dare to wear red’
Sorry, what? Dare to wear red? I’ll have you know, my entire wardrobe consists of nothing but black because I’m in mourning for Christmas. It has nothing to do with the fact I could do with shifting a few pounds of pate which has attached itself to my thighs. NOTHING AT ALL.
Now, I don’t want to take SKW’s sneaky taunt as actual advice, however, it did make me consider how daring to wear colour in January may just help. Perhaps a little splash of something other than black would help me to have fond memories of Christmas and it’s wonderful twinkling lights. Really remember the good times we shared, instead of snivelling over my loss.
Pastels seemed a gentle way to start. The jumpers my NBF’s Little Mix wore for the X Factor final
are available in Topshop in a choice of pink or mint green
So pretty, so snuggly and so ….. pastely. Unfortunately, if you actually want your name on them a la Jessy and co, you will need to get crafty with sequins yourself….Totally do-able whilst watching Dancing on Ice.
I hate January. January reminds me I have a WHOLE YEAR before I can eat pate, turkey and mince pies again. Or more to the point EAT in general.
My snowman onesie isn’t hilarious anymore, there appears to be a turkey carcass hanging out of the wheelie bin and, most depressingly of all, work want me to do work again.
There is no solace in TV. The soaps are as bleak as ever (RIP Pat. End of an earring and all that) and are just punctuated by endless furniture adverts. Hello? It’s just been CHRISTMAS. WHO can afford a new dining table?! Then there’s the diet adverts. Weightwatcher have their own song. Seriously. Maniacs who used to be overweight are now free to sing in public on their local high street after Weightwatchers taught them the meaning of life all over again. At least they are real people who once did have ‘do Weightwatchers’ at number one on their New Year’s Resolution list.
Not like the smuggest woman in the World.
The Special K woman. For years, Special K adverts have told us that eating their magical breakfast flakes (and sod all else) will give us the body we all want to flaunt in a (quite frankly disgusting), high legged, low necked red swimming costume.
I’m not going to say I haven’t done the diet before, I totally have. I’ve always fancied turning myself into a human K whilst taking a pool side shower, but this year’s campaign has really got my back up. Smug SKW slinks out of nowhere toying with her soggy flakes like she isn’t STARVING and says in her velvety voice ‘Dare to wear red’
Sorry, what? Dare to wear red? I’ll have you know, my entire wardrobe consists of nothing but black because I’m in mourning for Christmas. It has nothing to do with the fact I could do with shifting a few pounds of pate which has attached itself to my thighs. NOTHING AT ALL.
Now, I don’t want to take SKW’s sneaky taunt as actual advice, however, it did make me consider how daring to wear colour in January may just help. Perhaps a little splash of something other than black would help me to have fond memories of Christmas and it’s wonderful twinkling lights. Really remember the good times we shared, instead of snivelling over my loss.
Pastels seemed a gentle way to start. The jumpers my NBF’s Little Mix wore for the X Factor final
are available in Topshop in a choice of pink or mint greenSo pretty, so snuggly and so ….. pastely. Unfortunately, if you actually want your name on them a la Jessy and co, you will need to get crafty with sequins yourself….Totally do-able whilst watching Dancing on Ice.
If you’re already sick of the winter woollies, you can still stick with the pastel theme. With the good old British seaside being the inspiration for 2012’s most delicio
us trend, you can kit yourself out in spearmint, lemon and strawberries and cream a plenty. Pastel jeans give a new season nod to last year’s colour blocking and are much more of a delicate colour to wear.These little lovelies from http://www.boohoo.com/ make me want to go paddling in the sea already….
If you really can’t stomach ice cream shades in January, add a slick of colour the Che
zza C way. As far as I’m concerned, the lass can do no wrong and her new lipstick for L’Oreal is no exception. With £1 going to the Princes Trust and (I quote) ‘the shade of red that everyone wants in their makeup bag’ you’ll feel better in no time. And the next time the Special K Lady dares you to wear red this year……. You can continue scoffing left over celebrations to your heart’s content safe in the knowledge you already have. Just make sure that tiny little Mars bar doesn’t smudge it.
zza C way. As far as I’m concerned, the lass can do no wrong and her new lipstick for L’Oreal is no exception. With £1 going to the Princes Trust and (I quote) ‘the shade of red that everyone wants in their makeup bag’ you’ll feel better in no time. And the next time the Special K Lady dares you to wear red this year……. You can continue scoffing left over celebrations to your heart’s content safe in the knowledge you already have. Just make sure that tiny little Mars bar doesn’t smudge it.
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